Day 2: Churches, Christmas Trees and Vomit

Waking up in order to vomit is not a fun way to start the first full day of vacation. Yet, I didn't speak enough Arabic the night before to know what kind of street food I was ordering. It was delicious and there was a lot of yelling and pointing involved but it didn't settle quite right in my stomach.

We went on to have a few more stomach churning experiences that day. The first was that we hadn't all gone to AUB instead of AUD. The campus was beautiful, it was in a lively part of town and the students we saw looked happy to be there. After a little exploring Jean Paul met a professor and she showed us the private AUB Mediterranean beach. As we passed the the beach guard the professor, a cute little woman, says "They're not with me," and the guard let us swim and enjoy it anyways.

The Guys and the Amazing AUB

We got picked up by Jean-Philippe and headed North out of the city. The drive, itself, to Harissa, an area that includes a Maronite church, a Catholic church and another small church all on top of a mountain, almost made me a believer. The scariest aspect of Beirut, except maybe an Israeli invasion, is the driving. People in Lebanon are the most insane drivers I have ever come across and I thought there were some crazies in Boone. More on that in another post though.

The (In)Famous Jean-Philippe

After being thoroughly frightened by our resident driver Jean-Philippe on the way out of Beirut, he proceeded to tell us about the gift Uncle Sam gave to Lebanon. A fleet of brand new Dodge Charger police cars, one of which, lights flashing, he just passed.

“Don't worry about the police here. Even if they come up behind you with their lights on. They always have their lights on, like a Christmas tree.”

How comforting.

Then about the military checkpoint ahead:

“No talking, no laughing, no taking pictures. Just look straight ahead. He might make us stop and get out of the car too. There might be too many people in the car and one of you may need to get out.”

Telephrique on the Way Up

As we slowed down, turned off the music and gazed gravely out the windshield, the guard waved us through without even a 'bonjour'. We got to the bottom of the mountain and took a lovely, yet somewhat rickety cable car or 'telephrique' up above Beirut and into Harissa. The view of the city combined with the Mediterranean and sweeping mountains was astounding. Until that moment I hadn't really enjoyed the natural beauty of Lebanon. The mountains reminded me of home, they were hugging me the whole way up.

Beirut from Above

On top of the mountain, after passing through a snack bar, juice shop and gift shop we entered the grounds of the churches. Here an ugly Maronite church clashed with a beautiful statue of Mary and the incredible view. It was very reminiscent of the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro. We reached the top the spiral staircase that led to the feet of Mary and Jean-Phillip showed us that if you rubbed a coin on the base of the statue and it stuck then your prayers would be granted. His stuck.

The Mary and the Maronite Church

After another stomach churning drive we arrived at a monastery that overlooked the Mediterranean. Here I tried to climb a tree but Jean-Philippe informed that the nuns would come yell at me. Angry nuns yelling at you on the edge of cliff is a fun thought but not one I wanted to experience.

That evening the six of us ate at and explored Byblos, one of the oldest inhabited cities in the world. It consisted of Phoenician ruins jutting out into the ocean as well as shops and restaurants tucked away in a truly ancient city. We frolicked down narrow cobble alleyways and lively squares as techno pulsed from the clubs nearby.

As we pulled into the hotel I reflected on the harrowing drive, intimidating authority figures and so many churches and realized: I need a strong drink...

Beirut is Jumeizing Day 1

I cursed, kicked the bed side table, and punched the wall when I realized my mistake. It wasn't even close, I missed my flight by 10 hours.

I had booked my flight to Beirut Lebanon a day earlier then everyone else, I got the right flight numbers just the wrong day. After some finagling I got another flight the next morning but for a price: leaving at 5:30am, having a 5 hours layover in Kuwait (no bars anywhere) and arriving 2 hours later then everyone else.

After seemingly getting ripped off by the taxi driver, 40,000 Lebanese pounds for a ride, I got dropped off at my sister school the American University in Beruit. Walking around trying to find my hotel was an amazing experience. My first impression of Beirut was how full of life it was. There were people everywhere, talking, smoking shisha, walking around and just being happy. The city itself was dirty but colorful, the building were short and had bullet scars in them and nature was creeping in around the edges. Completely the opposite of Dubai in nearly every respect.

American University of Beirut Just Down the Road from Our Hotel

“Where is Bliss Suite Hotels?” became my standard refrain. Everyone of the 8 people I asked was beyond nice. If they didn't know, they went inside the store and asked for me then shook my hand afterward. Though they didn't always give me the right directions I never felt uncomfortable. Even the sketchiest looking guy with Kramer-like hair who was completely filthy, beckoned me, spoke perfect English and gave me the correct directions with a smile.

I finally arrived at Bliss Suite Hotels and asked the guy if three Americans and a Saudi had checked in.

"No, there is no one staying here like that."

Finally, the guy found our reservations but said no one had checked-in. Now I was confused this where we said we were staying yet all my friends who were already in the country weren't here. I also had no way of contacting them. As I was about to give him my card to pay for the hotel room I turned on my phone and found 3 texts saying to come down to a different hotel. Apparently the guy had changed the price when our Saudi friend showed him his passport. Saudis don't exist and if they do they have pay more I guess.

A View of North Beirut

I finally found the hotel after asking a few more people and was relieved to see Jess in the lobby. After some naps and catching up we met up with an “acquaintance” of Jean-Paul's, Jean-Phillipe. He drove us north of Beirut for dinner at Manuellas, my new favorite restaurant.

Now the Arabs have a saying “Some eat to live others live to eat,” this experience was definitely the latter. We sat at a huge table underneath a canopy directly on the Mediterranean. After picking out the fish, I saw the same fish swimming in the ocean below me, we ordered lots of Mezzes like hummus, fatouche, grape leaves and cheese rolls. Drinks included Almazza the Lebanese beer and Arak which translates literally to sweat but tasted like Sambuca. The dinner wasn't served all at once, it came in waves so we were constantly eating for an hour. The food was so delicious that I was totally absorbed and forgot where I was, I would then look up and realize where I was and be completely overwhelmed.

The Best Dining Experience of My Life

After a short break came shishas, four types of liqueur and the most amazing fruit platters. There were 9 huge platter with apples, nectarines, plums, grapes, pears, kumquats, watermelon, cantaloupes and kiwis all on ice. I have never eaten so much food in one sitting ever, the entire experience lasted over 2 hours and cost only $20. The meal alone was worth the new flight and traveling all day.

There was certainly going to be no punching or kicking, I never wanted to leave...

A Brutal Malling

Yesterday, I had the opportunity of visiting Dubai Mall, on a mission to puzzle out why of all places the mall is so influential in Dubai.

Globally, Dubai is known for its world-class shopping experiences. Hundreds of separate malls dot the landscape and it is rare to see a store standing alone. Standing above the rest is Dubai Mall, one of the largest malls on the planet. Here there are over 1000 stores on 4 levels, it is a place where you could get lost and not be found for days.

When I first entered the mall the first thing I noticed was the map, I tried to take a picture but it wouldn't fit within the frame of my camera. Behind it was, no not a ski slope, but an ice skating rink of course. Here ice skaters were even more pitiful then that one kid who hugs the wall of the rink face-planting every step.

Except This Guy, Too-Much-Free-Time, Was Doing Front-handsprings and Flips

Hungry, from walking half way across the mall we decided to go to the food court. In most malls the food court, around lunch time, would be crowded and noisy but not here. The biggest food court I have ever seen, with a McDonald's playpen the size of of a normal mall in the states, was empty. For Muslims this is the holy month of Ramadan in which it is customary to fast during the daytime hours. Yet, the restaurants were open you just couldn't eat it there in public. So my compatriots cleverly combined two trips into one and ate their KFC in the bathroom.

One of the Many Insane Plazas within the Mall

After feeding ourselves we then watched the sharks being fed, in the aquarium, that was in the middle of the mall. You could shop with the fishies so to speak. Here I saw two divers get into a cage and give sharks dead fish. I felt like I was looking into a mirror. Here sharks were being hand-fed dead fish while surrounded with thousands of live fish, a lifetime supply. On the other side of the glass, individuals with a lifetime supply of money, wearing Guchi and Armani, were shopping for products they didn't need. There was even the same dead and dumb look in their eyes. Yet, like sharks around the cage, why do all the people congregate at malls?

A Very Full Shark

Maybe a fresh perspective will give me some ideas, I thought walking outside. The air outside felt thick, to the extent that the sensation of swimming comes to mind. It was 112 degrees with almost 100% humidity. Across an enormous fountain was the Burj Dubai the world's tallest building. Not yet completed it stands at over 2,684 ft tall and is a series of commercial and residential spaces. It was so tall that I couldn't fit it into the frame of my camera.

Bow Down to the Top Half of the Idol of Consumerism!

I have heard rumors from others that the crown prince of Saudi Arabia has declared his intention to build a tower to trump the Burj Dubai. Something in the range of a mile high. The Sheik of Dubai has declared his intention to beat that by finalizing plans for a skyscraper 7874ft tall. It doesn't seem possible to build something so tall but in this dick-measuring contest it seems anything goes, including laws of physics.

Katrice, Jordan and Myself

We stayed outside as long as possible but had to rush back in before we passed out in the heat. Perhaps this was a clue to the power of Dubai malls? We finished the evening with a trip to the grocery store on the bottom level (it had 50 types of milk!) and a final look at the Burj and the fountain. Here we witnessed an amazing spectacle, a fountain show that blows the Bellagio out of the water. To an up beat Arabic song, we watched as the water danced, gyrated, and blasted 30 feet into the air all perfectly in sync with the music. It was quite a sight and great way to end the trip.

Oooooooh

Ahhhhhhhh!

Though as far as the question to why malls are so important in Dubai, I'm still not sure. It may be because the rich people want to be seen being rich, or because the Dubains are even more materialitic then Americans (yes its possible) or maybe it is just too hot outside to organize shopping in anyother way.

All I know is that my tower is totally bigger than yours.

An Orientation for Freshman Orientations

Tips for students at an orientation and for those who are forced to run them.

Let me first begin by plagiarizing the president of the American University in Dubai and extolling the "The 10 Keys to Success for a New Student (Orientation)."

As a senior I have, obviously, already once gone through freshman orientation. It was an experience that I hoped to never repeat. Yet, here at AUD as a new student I was told that I had to go to new student orientation and convocation. This leads me to my first tip:

1. When anyone says that you are required to go to orientation yell "FALSE!" and run away as quickly as possible, preferably while spastically gyrating your arms to fend off any pursuers.

Having ignored my own first tip I was lead into the cafeteria with about 100 other students where we commenced to, one by one, introduce ourselves. There were students from Afghanistan, Pakistan, Oman, Syria, Jordan, Nigeria, North Carolina and numerous other places. Yet I don't remember a single name. After 30 minutes and much confusion later, we finally divided into three groups (having failed at every attempt at a name games) and commenced playing movie charades. These games are performed as a form of collective group torture to help you bond with your classmates. Which leads to tip 2:

2. If a guy named Ronny who only knows one English adjective points at you and says "I have an AWESOME movie for you," own it and do it with reckless abandon.

It only took one (fantastic) pelvic thrust for everyone to simultaneously remember my name and correctly yell "Sex in the City!"

The next day:

3. When someone says, everyone to the auditorium for convocation, yell "FALSE!" and run away as quickly as possible, preferably while spastically gyrating your arms to fend off any pursuers.

Also, again ignoring my own advice, I went into the swankiest auditorium I have ever seen. Regardless, it was incredibly boring so:

4. Bring something, anything to do while you're being talked at.

As someone who has been talked at a lot, here are some tips for those doing the talking-at:

5. If you are extolling the virtues of a liberal education, thinking critically and for yourself, please stop reading verbatim off a power point presentation that you obviously did not make.

6. If it takes you 20 minutes to explain what plagiarism is, you should find a concise defintion on wikipedia and plagiarize it.

7. Students do not need a 30 slide power point presention introducing every single person who works in the administration, their phone number and hobbies. This is not match.com.

8. When choosing a student to introduce every member of the administration please don't choose Ronny, the guy who only knows one adjective.

Just before you are about to snap and run screaming from the auditorium realize you can leave whenever you want.

9. Get up, head held high and walk confidently to the exit. If an orientation leader blocks the doorway and says you can't leave its not over yet, side-step her and walk out the other door. Keep walking, if you hesistate for a moment you will be trapped inside, as all but one of the other study abroad students found out.

And finally once you escape:

10. Love, savor and relish in the that incredible feeling of not being at orientation. Doesn't it feel AWESOME!?!