Stupid-Extravagant

Everything in the UAE is named Sheikh-something. The main highway, that guy over there and one of the biggest mosques in the world. The term Sheikh is somewhat of a throwback to a time without man-made islands, when your tribe was your primary form of identity. Sheikhs are still the leaders today but of entire countries now instead of isolated tribes. Also they are no longer stuck in the deserts with their camels but are instead some of the richest individuals on Earth.

The term nouveau-riche is somewhat of understatement for most of the Sheikhs and the local Emiratis who benefit from their money. In the UAE every local citizens gets a tiny percentage of the oil revenues for the entire country and the government has on multiple occasions paid off every local's debts. The point is that many of the locals are only a couple generations removed from living in the desert in canvas tents and now are mega-wealthy.

So what do you do with all the money? Build the world's tallest building, make multiple man-made islands, indoor ski slopes, and two places I just visited this weekend: Sheikh Zayed Mosque (see?) and Emirates Palace. Both are about an hour away in the capital of the UAE, Abu Dhabi. Our friend Aria was kind enough to drive Sean, Jess and myself to these stupid-extravagant sights.

To Quote My Islamic Art and Architecture Professor:
"The Minaret, If We Were In a Western Classroom I Would Say It Is a Phallic Symbol, One of Power."

Our first stop was the Sheikh Zayed Mosque, one of the biggest in the world and just recently completed. In order to enter Jess had to put on a full black abaya with the headscarf, I just had to not be wearing shorts. The mosque was enormous and incredibly beautiful. The intense attention to detail was astounding and everywhere you looked there was a pattern. Inside is the worlds largest hand-woven carpet and the three largest chandeliers in the world.

One thing I still can't wrap my head around though is that within the traditions of Islam there is very strict ban on figurative images in general but especially in mosques. The reason given is that there is only one god and figurative images could lead to idol worship etc but in the mosque it is claimed that it will distract believers from their prayers. To a certain extent this makes sense, most mosques I have been are very peaceful and respectful places. What I don't understand about the Sheikh Zayed Mossque is how anyone could not be distracted while there. The chandeliers were the size of a small car, plated with gold with thousands of LEDs lit up within them. The carpet itself distracted me with it's incredible patterns. I know I am A.D.D. but I could barely hold a conversation in the place let alone pray.

Ooooooh Shiny...

Anyways, our next destination was even more gaudy. Emirates Palace also opened just a few years ago and is reportedly the most expensive hotel ever built at a price tag of $3 billion. $3 BILLION!!! Owned by the Abu Dhabi local government it still doesn't make any sense. Come on can anyone think of anything better you would spend $3 billion on? I guess for Abu Dhabi that is a relatively paltry sum because word on the street here is that they have over $1 trillion in liquid assets, like cash and gold sitting in a vault somewhere. Ok back on track here.

Bling!

As we drove into the underground parking garage the whole first fifty spaces on the right side were full of identical white BMW 740is on the left were what I assumed to be the guest's cars, beamers, Mercedes, Porsches, Ferarris, Lamborghinis, Bentleys, Rolls Royces and other luxury cars I have never even heard of. Upon walking in I was unimpressed but the decor, everything was some shade of gold that is until I relaized that everything was gold. The display cases, the doorknobs, the clothes the staff were wearing and even the walls were all made and at the very least plated with gold. It is also the only place I have ever seen that has wall-sized murals of the palace itself on the walls inside the palace. The entire place was an one expensive act of narcissism.

I Wanna Know Where tha Golds At

As we were leaving, we passed a curious auction. Inside glass jewelry cases, like the one you would see the Hope Diamond in, there were lit up and rotating license plates. Here is another curious cultural phenomenon, people pay exorbitant amounts of money for low-numbered and patterned license plates. Let me give you an example, the closer to 1 the better but numbers like 88888, 616, 12345 are also big money. By big money I mean that some of the plates in the single digits go for upwards of $1 million, much more expensive then the car the plate is on. Again classic nouveau-riche, "look at me I have way more money than you" mentality.

Hmmm What Should I Do With All That Money I Have...

Driving away I couldn't help but think about how self-conscious everyone here must be to spend such vast sums of money on what I would deem essentially useless things. Spending money in order to show your neighbor or the world that you have money is a waste, but giving it to me, now that is a novel idea...